20110219

100 Top CEOs

Copyright © 2011 Ernest Bloom.

see the list here


You gotta feel sorry for Michael W Laphen being stuck at the bottom of the list. I'm sure he's working as hard as he can to change that. Let's assume he works every weekend and every holiday and never goes home from his office and never sleeps. We'll give him the benefit of the doubt. He's working 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year. If true, he's earning a paltry $1777.40/hr. What we really need is some kind of government assistance program for down and out CEOs like him.

So he's being paid 50¢ per second, even if he's just picking his nose while waiting at a traffic light. Hmm. . . .I think I read something about this somewhere once. Something about those who can't learn from the past being condemned to repeat it. Oh, now I remember. . . .Anyone else ever read A Tale of Two Cities?

But let's be more realistic. Actually, if he's really working a bit more like a normal human being, all of whom are biological constructs that have to sleep every now and then no matter how much they spend on cocaine and methamphetamines, then let's say he's working, like us, 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, and unlike us (the souls of executives being fashioned of a more ethereal substance than our own, after all), he takes no vacations or holidays. Then he's earning $2.07 every second. But it's also true that this would require that he pick his nose while waiting at a traffic light totally off the books. Hey, no one ever said that life is easy or fair.

(As an aside: for some reason I'm suddenly reminded of middle-managers who squeeze you for more and more and more productivity while a steady flow of crocodile tears issues from their eyes cos there's no money left to even think about hiring more staff. Well, all I can say is: thank goodness we can look up to our Captains of Free Enterprise as inspirational, shining examples to be emulated!)

On the other hand, now that I think about it more carefully, the obvious solution is to offer more and more corporate tax breaks and outlaw collective bargaining.

‎(Oh, I'm sorry; didn't mean to wake you. Go back to sleep.)




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